Reading Polyamory & ENM Discussion Group
About Us
Welcome! This page contains information about an ENM discussion group based in Reading, UK.
We provide a peer-led space for discussing the practical application, philosophies, and lived experiences of Polyamory and Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) (including perspectives such as Relationship Anarchy).
Our aim is to provide a supportive environment where members can share insights and learn from one another to deepen self-awareness and build healthier relationship practices.
We meet every two months on a midweek evening in the centre of Reading. We have a Signal group for announcements, updates, coordination and polls.
Joining
We have a short Google Form to fill out. It:
- gives you the key info about how the group runs
- checks we’re on the same page about how we treat each other
- gathers a couple of ideas to help shape the group.
Please go and fill out the form to join.
Standards & Conduct
- Discussion Ethos: Discussions explore perspectives, share lived experience, and test ideas rather than debate “correct” relationship styles. Members are encouraged to:
- ask constructive questions
- listen to the facilitator and follow directions intended to keep the discussion on topic and to time
- offer relevant insights with respect for individual differences, differing relational styles and varied levels of experience
- only share things in the group that don’t violate other people’s privacy or consent.
- Scope: This is a discussion group, not a pickup event. Unsolicited romantic or sexual advances in meetings or group chats are not permitted.
- Behaviour expectations: Respect personal boundaries, maintain confidentiality regarding personal stories shared, and use respectful language.
- Own boundaries: Members are encouraged to communicate their boundaries and seek peer-to-peer resolution for minor communication clashes.
- Handling Disruptive Behavior:
- In-Session: Facilitators and coordinators can pause discussions, address violations directly, or ask disruptive individuals to leave.
- Private Reporting: Members can report boundary violations privately to any coordinator.
- Removal: repeated or serious violations will result in permanent removal from meetings and digital spaces. Handled by Consensus of the two Coordinators.
Topics
- Topic submission: Members can submit topics via an online form at any time. Topics are voted on shortly after each meeting using an online poll to decide the topic for the next meeting. As the Coordinators are also members, they can propose topics too.
- Topic Registry: Managed via a shared Google Sheet.
- Proposer Responsibilities: Each proposed topic requires a designated Proposer who introduces the topic (5 mins) and provides 2–3 seed questions to facilitate discussion.
- Session Facilitation: Each meeting uses a volunteer Session Facilitator. When a topic is selected, the Proposer is offered first refusal to facilitate. If they decline, the Scheduler calls for an opt-in volunteer via Signal at least two weeks prior. First-time facilitators may request a Coordinator as a co-facilitator.
| Past Topics |
|---|
| Monogamy, class, and technology. |
| Suggested Topics (in no particular order) |
|---|
| Emotional capacity v. scheduling time |
| Is monogamy just a special case of polyamory? |
| Polyamory and Safe(r) Sex in 2026 |
| Polyamory: What’s in a Name? Language, Interpretation and Consequences |
| Policy and politic |
| Old age and polyamory |
Structure & Roles
To distribute administrative workload, coordination tasks are split into two Coordinator roles held for 6-month terms. Nominations are called every 6 months. Group voting resolves contested roles.
| Coordinator Role | Responsibilities |
|---|---|
| Schedule | Manages meeting schedule, Signal announcements, topic polling, and Topic Registry. |
| Venue | Sources, vets, and books suitable venues; acts as primary venue contact on day of meetings. |
Facilitation is agreed on a session by session basis.
| Session Facilitator(s) | Keeps discussion aligned with topic, manages time to 45 minute window, ensures every attendee has an opportunity to participate. |
Venues
Venues selected by the Venue Coordinator should aim to meet the following standards:
- Acoustics & Layout: Low background noise (no quiz nights or live sports); layout allows all participants to hear clearly.
- Accessibility & Transit: Wheelchair accessible (including step-free toilets); central Reading (RG1).
- Affordability: Free or low-cost options; no mandatory food/drink minimum spend.
Contact
- Primary Chat Channel: announcements, updates, coordination and polls via Signal. Signal supports usernames, reducing the need to share phone numbers, and minimises the exposure of message data, including message-related metadata.
- Topic Tracking: Google Sheets.
- Decisions: via polling in Signal or using Google forms.
If you get stuck (please try to join Signal first!), you can email: rdgpolydiscussion at gmail dot com.
Resources
- coming soon!